


Farewell

by Gio_hannigram



Series: Short One Shots For Kurofai Week 2016 [2]
Category: Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: Angst, F/M, KuroFai Week, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-08
Updated: 2016-11-08
Packaged: 2018-08-29 21:17:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8505736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gio_hannigram/pseuds/Gio_hannigram
Summary: "If she wants to go somewhere so badly she should go there herself."-Kurogane to Fai
Fai follows his advice & stops waiting for someone to take him away.
Or
Who is the person who leaves a wedding early?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Kurofai Week Day 3: Angst 
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you again to Onoheiwa for editing this.

It was not a surprise how much it hurt inside of him, how little control he could have of himself, how awful a person he was. And most of all it was not a surprise how much regret he felt at not having died in Acid Tokyo.

Even dying next to Ashura would have been better than this - he would have died next to those he loved the most, he would have died in his world; for all that Celes was not the place of his birth it was his the only home he had ever had.

The room was big, elegant, with flowers and a warm aura filling each part of it and the people around him wore the best clothes they had along with their best smiles. Only the best for the princess’s wedding day.

It was probably one of the most important days of Nihon, their _hime_ was getting married; for him it was one of the worst days of his life. While it was not as shocking as the day he met Fei Wong or the day Ashura and his twin were banished from existence, it was just as painful.

He was saying goodbye to a dream he knew was only that - a dream. But there was still a difference between a dream that he could continue holding onto, no matter how delusional it was, and a crushed one.

As their vows started Fai tried hard to hold himself steady. He had managed to do it throughout the planning, through the continuous times his opinion was asked as Kurogane doubted that he was the one for Tomoyo.

Every time it hurt and there were moments when he wondered if Kurogane did it to hurt him, if perhaps he knew how Fay felt and what he truly thought, how much he would be wishing, as he did at this very moment, that the rooftop would fall. That Tomoyo would realize that Kurogane was not for her and call off the wedding. Fai knew just thinking it made him an awful person,  but then again he had always been an awful being; one more thing to the list wouldn´t change anything. Perhaps that was exactly why he had to go through that pain, perhaps he had called it upon himself.

It was a blessing how used to faking smiles he was, to faking being alright when he was breaking. When they were declared husband and wife, Fai felt his knees shake, his whole body shivered and he had to concentrate at clapping as hard as he could and at not throwing up.

He was a terrible person.

He wished nothing but for it to be a nightmare, he wished to wake up on some other planet where there were only Kurogane, Syaoran, Sakura, Mokona and himself, nobody else. Still travelling, still together, still their little broken family. He longed to hear Mokona´s “Fay-mommy” yells followed by a cheerful “Kuro-daddy” and the sense of belonging that they evoked. Mokona was behaving well, to his sadness. Syaoran and Sakura were as happy as he was supposed to feel, though Syaoran kept throwing knowing and worried glances towards him, to which he could only smile and wave as if everything was fine.

The last thing he wanted was to worry his child. He knew he would though, with what he had planned.

Kurogane did not suddenly stop the wedding and call for him. Kurogane probably did not even remember Fay´s existence at the moment and Fay wanted nothing but to run away, he wanted for someone to take him away to a place where it did not hurt, a place where he didn´t have to see his beloved´s eyes shine and his smile brighten as he looked at someone else.

As his heart broke into hundred pieces he danced one last time with his daughter, hugged his son and prayed so they both wouldn´t realize he was saying goodbye.

He acted as much as he could, as much as his body allowed with how exhausted he was. His smile felt wrong, his heart ached with every step he gave and he tried to convince himself that as soon as he reached the door it would become numb instead.

He had underestimated Syaoran´s knowing gazes. Syaoran stopped him and hugged him as tight as his strength allowed without hurting him and Fay fought tears. Of course he knew, of course he saw.

“Please, wherever you go, stay safe Fay-san, we´re going to miss you.”

“And I´ll miss you my wonderful child.” Fai stood there hugging and being hugged for what would be probably the last time in a long time. He gave up and tears rolled down his cheeks as he ruffled Syaoran´s hair for the last time.

“Take care of him please.” After Syaoran nodded Fai smiled genuinely for the first time in months. Kissed his forehead and walked pass him.

With one last look towards Kurogane, Fai walked out ready to follow his own journey, giving one last laugh as he realized he was following Kurogane´s words, which felt as if they had been said a lifetime ago.

 

As the portal to another world opened Fai took a deep breath and went away.


End file.
